Jason tries to persuade Y/N from moving out of their apartment.

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Angst, swearing, heart pain

Word Count: 1100+

Note: I had a bad day. Didn’t feel like writing fluff to make it better.

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You were packing when the door slammed. You didn’t turn to look at him. Just keep packing. Roll the t-shirts. Fold the pants.

“What is this?” Jason asked, voice cold and hurt. You ignored the slip of paper crumpled in his fist.

“Goodbye.”

“Why?”

He met you at the dresser, but you had just finished emptying it. Jason braced himself against it as you moved onto the closet and filling your duffel. Your mind swam with everything you wanted to tell him. He poured out questions.

“Is it the missions? The going out every night? The danger? What?”

You took a deep breath to keep your voice level. Even then it wavered towards the end. “No. I knew all about that months ago. I want to know where you’re going, who you’re fighting. I want to be home base, not just a warm body to hold after a winter patrol.” Another deep breath. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “I said as much in the letter.”

He reached out to catch your arm as you walked past, but you jumped away as if his fingers would brand you.

“Y/N, please. Just… sit down, so we can talk about this.”

“Now you want to talk?” You threw the clothes onto the bed and spun to face him. “You are too tired at night to talk. Asleep in the morning when I make breakfast. Gone on patrol before I finish. Then you sit on rooftops all day hacked into the Batman’s coms for something to do. There is no room to breathe around you, Jason!”

“No, you know that is not the whole truth” Jason held up a hand and then pointed at you. “I know what you’re going to say next. We have discussed that. At length. I’m not pulling you into this any more than I already have.”

“Bullshit. You’ve told me before I’m as good a hacker as Dick. I’ve held my own against Damian in sparring, something even you have trouble doing. And I’m still human enough to see the big picture when you or Bruce can’t. If you guys are even talking to one another.”

Jason rushed forward and gripped your shoulders. “That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want you to lose that. Not like I have.”

Don’t you do it. Not the face. I refuse to just bend because you pull the face. Don’t you dare?

With a sigh, his shoulders slumped. His hands slid down your arms till he could hold your hands in his. It could be the hottest summer on record and his would feel like ice. You looked out the window, at your suitcase, at the empty dresser and closet. But he tilted up your chin so he could look into your eyes. So you squeezed them shut.

He chuckled under his breath, “and I’m the stubborn one.” He rubbed thumb across the side of your cheek. “Please open your eyes, Y/N.”

No. No. No. No. No.

You cracked them just enough to satisfy him, but it was enough to get pulled into his. How deep they were. How much the toll of death and missions had taken out of him over the years. They were the eyes of a soldier who’s seen too much. Broken.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, or killed, or…” he started. You let him squeeze your hands while he worked out the words. “I don’t want you to lose that spark of life in your eyes. The way you smile when it rains. How you grumble under your breath when people walk slowly in the park or at the grocery. The way you hum pleasantly in your sleep. You are perfect, Y/N. I can’t risk destroying you.”

You ripped your hands out of his.

“And how destroyed will I be the night you don’t come back? I don’t want to be in the field with you, Jason! I want to have your back from here. You won’t let Dick or Bruce in, why not me? I want to be able to talk with you during a patrol. I want to hear you laugh as you bring justice to this God forsaken city. I want to be here to patch you up so you don’t have to do it in an alley somewhere before you come home.”

“I’m a different man out there, Y/N.” Jason stepped back from you, voice low and different than anything you heard from him before. “I’m harder. Cruel. You might hear a man on coms that you’ve never met before. I know you. You hold the weight of the world on your shoulders when you can’t help your elderly neighbor bring her groceries up the stairs. You are too kind and bright to listen to me at my darkest.” He clenched and unclenched his fists till his voice cracked back to normal. “I don’t bring it home because I need the light you have. I need the reminder that humanity is good. If you see the depravity like I do, I won’t be able to claw our way out.”

He needs me. Oh God, help me. He needs me. I can’t stay. I can’t keep living like this. But he needs me. I’m going to worry about him no matter what apartment I live in. Distance might help. But he needs me. If we can’t be broken together, then he can be broken by himself, like he was before. But he needs me. I pulled him back from that edge.

He needs me. He needs me. He needs me.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. The taxi was here to drive you to your new place across town.

“The taxi’s here, isn’t it?”

You nodded.

“Across town?”

“What makes you think I’m staying in this city? I’ve got college friends in Star City.”

You could feel him shifting his focus between the phone and your face. You were worried he would call your bluff.

“Please don’t go.”

He needs me.

But I don’t need him.

“I have to go.” You quickly zipped the cases shut and stacked them to leave in one trip. You didn’t look back all the way down the hall, or down the stairs, or shoving the suitcases into the trunk of the taxi. But you took one last look before getting in.

He was standing in the window. Blinds parted. Like he’d done when you moved in. He kissed two of his fingers and pressed them to the glass. You didn’t kiss back. You didn’t look back as the taxi drove away.

I don’t need him. I don’t need him. I don’t need him.

Right?

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